What to do when marketing advice makes you want to scream

A lot of people hate marketing. Not just "don't enjoy it" but genuinely dread having to do it. The thought of promoting themselves feels fake, gross, overwhelming, and/or just deeply uncomfortable.

If that's you, I get it. And I also want to offer a different way to think about it.

Marketing doesn't have to feel like putting on a performance or manipulating people into buying things. At its core, it's just communication: telling people what you do and helping them figure out if it's useful for them. A.K.A getting the right product, with the right message, to the right audience, at the right time.

The reason it feels bad for so many people usually isn't marketing itself, but the specific way they've been told to do it.

A lot of marketing advice doesn't fit everyone

There's no shortage of people telling you how to market your business. Post daily. Build a funnel. Use urgency. Show vulnerability. Follow this framework. Buy this course to sell millions.

Some of that advice can be solid. Some of it works really well for certain people. But none of it is universal, and when you try to follow advice that doesn't fit the way your work, your values, or how you communicate, it feels awful. You end up either forcing yourself through something that drains you and burning out or feeling like a failure for not being able to stick with it.

The problem isn't that you're bad at marketing. The problem is trying to do it in a way that doesn't match you or your business.

Think of marketing as an experiment, not a test you can fail

Here's what helped me: treating marketing like a science experiment instead of a performance I had to get right.

In an experiment, you're not trying to be perfect. You're testing things. It’s trial and error. You try something, see what happens, learn from it, and adjust. Some things work. Some don't. Both outcomes give you information.

This approach shifts the question from "am I doing this right?" to "what works for me and my audience?" You can test different formats and see what resonates. Maybe long posts work better than short ones for your people. Maybe they prefer hearing from you less often but with more depth. Maybe the thing you thought would flop actually connects, and the thing you spent hours on gets ignored. You won't know until you try, and the trying isn't pass/fail. It's just gathering data.

Start with what feels honest

If marketing feels fake, it's usually because you're doing something that doesn't feel true to you or our brand.

You don't have to use tactics that make you uncomfortable. You don't have to manufacture urgency or overshare personal details or pretend to be more enthusiastic than you are. You can just be clear about what you do and let people decide if they want it.

"Here's what I help with. Here's how it works. Here's how to reach me if you're interested."

That's marketing. It doesn't have to be more complicated than that.

The honest version might feel too simple or too quiet compared to what you see other people doing. But honest and sustainable will always beat loud and burnout-inducing.

Do the research first

One of the most important things you can do before creating any marketing collateral or content is spend time on audience research.

Look at what your actual clients and potential clients talk about. What questions do they ask? What frustrates them? What language do they use to describe their problems? You can find this in comments, DMs, forums, reviews of competitors, and conversations you've already had.

This kind of research takes a lot of the guesswork out of your messaging. Instead of wondering what to say, you're reflecting back what people have already told you they need and the challenges they face. That makes your marketing feel less like shouting into the void and more like joining a conversation that's already happening while providing a potential solution.

Market research helps too. What are others in your space doing? What's working for them? What gaps do you notice? You don't have to copy anyone, but understanding the landscape helps you figure out where you fit and how to talk about what makes your work different.

Find messaging that sounds like you

A major part of marketing that works is figuring out how to talk about what you do in a way that's direct, true, and feels authentic to your brand. That's your brand messaging.

Good messaging doesn’t have to be about finding the cleverest tagline. It should focus on explaining what your product or service is, who it's for, and why it matters in plain language. When your messaging is tight and dialed in, everything else gets easier: website copy, social posts, emails, even how you talk about your work in casual conversation. Plus, it strengthens your brand if you have consistent messaging throughout all of your channels and content.

If your current messaging feels off or you keep rewriting your bio and it never feels right, that's a sign to slow down, take a step back to look at the full picture, and work on the foundations. What challenges are you answering? What would make you want to buy from your brand if you were a prospect? And most importantly: what do you want your brand to be known for?

Use the skills you already have

Marketing doesn't have to mean doing things you hate. If you have skills that translate to content, use them.

If you like writing, write. If you like making art, make some graphics or brand artwork. If you're better at talking, record yourself, get a transcript, and turn it into content. If you like making videos but don't want to be on camera, you can do voiceovers, screen recordings, or videos that focus on your work instead of your face. If you're good at research and content strategy but hate the execution side, focus on the strategy. And get help with the rest if you’re struggling. Consider hiring a professional or asking someone you know for help.

For those of us with ADHD and/or autism, leaning into formats that work with our brains makes a real difference. Maybe batching content during a hyperfocus window works better than trying to create something new every week. Maybe voice memos are easier than sitting down to write. Work with what you've got. You can even leverage tools like AI to help as a base point (if you use AI, always double check everything before going live, and make edits as necessary to avoid generic or flat-out incorrect content) with strategy or creating a marketing plan.

You don't have to be good at everything. Figure out which parts you can do well and which parts need a different approach.

Word of mouth still works

Not all marketing happens online. A lot of business comes from referrals: people who purchased from your business or worked with you telling other people about you. In fact, that’s the best kind of marketing. If you’re able to get positive testimonials from happy customers, get permission to use their words, whether it’s a quick quote on your website and social channels, or a full case study.

You can encourage this without being pushy. Do good work. Stay in touch with past clients (As someone with ADHD, I recommend creating a spreadsheet with check-in logs so you don’t spam and creating templates for reaching out). Ask for feedback. Make it easy for people to refer you by being honest. Sometimes just reminding people you exist and that you care beyond making money is enough.

Word of mouth is slow, but it compounds. And the clients who come through referrals often already trust you, which makes everything smoother.

Pay attention to what your audience responds to

Part of the experiment is noticing what lands. Not what "should" work according to best practices, but what actually gets a response from your specific people.

Maybe they reply when you share something you learned. Maybe they click when you keep it short. Maybe they purchase or reach out after you've been quiet for a while and then post something really useful. Sometimes it can be something as small as a single different word in an email subject line.

For that reason, A/B testing is a recommended method. A/B testing is when you create two versions of something (like an email subject line, a headline, or a call-to-action button) and show each version to a portion of your audience to see which one performs better. It takes the guessing out of what works and lets you make future decisions based on actual data.

Get help with the parts that drain you

If certain parts of marketing feel impossible or you just don’t have the bandwidth, you don't have to force yourself through it alone. You can work with someone who can help.

That might mean hiring a marketing consultant or content strategist to figure out your messaging and what to focus on. Or working with a copywriter to handle your website copy so you're not staring at a blank page for weeks. Or bringing in support for the parts of marketing that drain you so you can focus on running your business.

If you can’t afford to hire a professional, consider asking for advice on a forum like r/marketing on Reddit.

Please know that getting help isn't admitting defeat. It’s actually the beginning of a major achievement in recognizing that your time and energy are limited and putting them where they'll actually make a difference.

Have fun and do it your way

You don't have to market like everyone else. In fact the most memorable marketing are things that stand out because they were done different. So just to reiterate what we’ve covered. You don't have to follow advice like posting everyday if that makes you miserable. But you should still try to figure out what works for your business, your values, your energy, and your audience.

Afterall, the goal is finding clients and building a business you believe in and can sustain.

Need help building a marketing strategy that fits your values?

If you want help figuring out what a marketing strategy that fits you and your brand, that's part of what I do and the reason I started Odd Flock. I work with autistic, ADHD, and other neurodivergent professionals and business owners who need marketing that actually fits how they work. We can sort through what's not clicking, test some different approaches, and build something together on your terms. Contact me here.